While I was reorganizing my tags, I realized that I make a LOT of private posts that I mean to make public but then forget about. So I'm going to repost those that I was entertained by so that you can, you know, have the benefit of my genius, etc.
This one is from 2006 May 24, just over two years ago.
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So, I was trying to figure out why, though I love HP, I always feel slightly disappointed by it. Eventually I stumbled upon the reason, which I quickly realized should have been obvious.
Harry Potter does not have spaceships.
Yes, all our Potterian characters are sadly Earthbound. No hyperdrives, no warp engines, no faster-than-light travel. It's quite disappointing. Fortunately, my imagination was able to leap in and save the day.
Presenting Jehnt in
Harry Potter Lord Voldemort and the SPACEBROOMS OF DOOOOOOM...
Jehnt: And don't talk to me about brooms.
Jehnt: Well, I like brooms.
Jehnt: But they don't go into space.
Jehnt: This is true.
Jehnt: Although, you know, the bubble-head charm --
Jehnt: Exposes 80% of your body to the cold, cold vacuum of space.
Jehnt: But if it were larger --
Jehnt: And pressurized.
Jehnt: And pressurized, yes, I was getting to that. Then you could just fly --
Jehnt: This is conceivable.
Jehnt: On your broomstick up in space.
Jehnt: This could totally happen. It'd be VOLDIE IN SPACE.
Jehnt: Hey, why Voldemort? Why not Harry in space?
Jehnt: Harry is FAR too dim to come up with that idea. Voldemort is the one with all the cracked-out plans.
Jehnt: I see your point.
Jehnt: He'd TOTALLY launch a space attack on Hogwarts.
Jehnt: I dig it, I totally dig it.
Jehnt: But if one of the good guys WERE to come up with space brooms, it'd be Ron.
Jehnt: Or Dumbledore.
Jehnt: If he weren't dead.
Jehnt: Yeah, true.
Jehnt: But Ron would hear about NASA from Hermione and be like, "Things that fly in space, bah, that's simple, let me just throw together some charms over here ... humdedumdum la la la ... oh, look at my working SPACEBROOM."
Jehnt: Hermione would be so horrified.
Jehnt: Yeah, she'd tell McG and get it CONFISCATED.
Jehnt: So it's back to Voldemort if we want the spacebrooms, huh.
Jehnt: Yeah.
Jehnt: Cool.
Jehnt: My brain is groovy.
Jehnt: Ditto.
Jehnt: Awesome.