We're trying something new today. Have a song: Dizzee Rascal - Fix Up Look Sharp (Ratatat remix).

[Poll #685068]

So, I was reading this one fic, and it wasn't great but it also wasn't that bad. Then I reached this paragraph:

"Well, my name, as Professor McGonagall was so nice to point out is Tiel Azorleah. My father was. . . well, I don't know what he was. But it was neither British nor American. My name is a bit of a mouthful, and I fell dreadfully old when you call me Professor Azorleah, so call me simply RaspberrrySquirrel, or Raspberry for short. Don't ask how I got the name, just be grateful I'm not making you call me Professor Tiel Itiriaty Senelen Azorleah, which is my full name."

...

...

...

There was also a mint-green flying squirrel named Joe who was really a shapeshifter who shapeshifts into a Furby a lot. This then inspires Harry to get Draco a Furby for Christmas.

How do people even COME UP with this stuff????

*Jehnt cries*

I know, I know, I should stay away from the badfic. But how can I when it's just so ... fascinating. Or whatever it is. Also, bonus badpoints for Harry calling Draco "a silver-haired bishounen." Oh man, and even MORE badpoints for the best spell ever -- "freezious," which McGonagall uses to freeze a food-fight. +10 badpoints for showing lack of knowledge of Latin, ooooooh.

Scary typos I've found in fics, or Why You Should Have a Beta:

"He looked up once, to glance at Draco as the blond sat down a few rows back, across the isle."

[Damn small island they're on, eh?]

"Harry," Draco said, "Try to be more discrete."

[It makes me think of Harry scrunching his face up and clenching his fists and trying REALLY HARD to coalesce into a more distinct being.]

"I am a Malfoy, and, as such, would never renegade on a promise!"

[Errr, what?]

"For all he knew it could be some rouge Death Eater who was trying to kill him by first earning his trust through a love letter and then once Harry actually believed him he would move in for the kill and attack with a group of his fellow rouge Death Eaters and Harry would be dead."

[Now, am I wrong in assuming that these are Death Eaters who wear too much blush? Possibly Death Eaters who are into stage acting?]


You know what I don't really understand? Password-protected or f-locked fic.

I just don't get it. It really frustrates me. I'm far too lazy to jump through hoops in order to read something. It could be touted as the most brilliant fanfic in the history of fanfics ... but if I had to email someone in order to get the password, sign up for an account at the website, or subscribe to a yahoo group in order to read it, I'd just as soon pass.

Does anyone have any insight as to why people lock down fic in this way?

Also, hi! Look at me, all posting and whatnot!

ETA: lookit how I prettified my journal. *swoons* stripes yay!