For
slippyslope:
IT DOES EXIST:

What you're looking at right there is my very own Pirate Cereal. My dad was actually the one that found it at the store -- he was all, "OMG CAPTAIN JACK OMG WOW PIRATES!" and I was cracking up because when you see him it's so obvious where I get my fannish tendencies from.
Full Pirate Cereal Report (because I was extraordinarily bored):
Tastes like you'd think it would -- like Lucky Charms with a dash of Cocoa Puffs. That's totally cool with me because those are my second and third favorite cereals. The marshmallow shapes are weird -- I've been able to discern a cutlass; what is either a piece of gold or a compass depending on which way I tilt my head; what is either a hat, a snake that swallowed an elephant, or very possibly a VW Beetle; a purple rectangle with a white X in it that I thiiiiink is supposed to be a pirate flag, and then a totally random white and purple blob.
Here is a picture of the marshmallows:

If anyone has ANY idea what any of these shapes might be, I'd really like to know since I'll be eating them for breakfast the next couple of weeks and it'll drive me crazy every day.
The side panel of the box (titled "Put Ye Best Foot Forward") is the best part of the whole thing.
Money quote: "Walking is great exercise requiring no special pirate skills."
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IT SAYS "PIRATE SKILLZ" ON MY CEREAL BOX AHAHHAA LOL XD
Yeah, so, I am lame. But that's okay, because I'm having lots of fun.
Also, I got a paid account so now I have
more icons. Yay!
Now, if I could just find some Ninja Cereal, the world (or at least the breakfasty part of the world) would be perfect.