Here is a quote from a really old interview with John Mayer that I randomly stumbled across and thought was funny:

"Everyone thinks Brad Pitt has it great because he married Angelina Jolie. I think he has it terrible, because when Angelina Jolie is giving you a blow job, what do you tip your head back and think of to help you finish? You have nothing left – just Jesus on a polar bear in the middle of the snow saying, ‘You greedy motherfucker, I’ve got nothing for you.’"

JESUS ON A POLAR BEAR. WTF.

I never found John Mayer even the least bit compelling before right now, but that "Jesus on a polar bear" thing is pretty hilarious. Mayer's still fug though. He's like the ugly bastard love child of Orlando Bloom, James Franco, and Antonio Banderas. I don't even know. Last year one of my suitemates was really into him but I just find him (and his music) repulsive.

So, I bought this little $5 package of raspberries today at the store, and it had like twenty raspberries, MAYBE, so that's like, idk, 25 cents a raspberry, and when I opened it up it said "Please rinse before eating." WTF. BITCH NO. I BOUGHT MY RASPBERRIES AT THE STORE AND I WANT TO OPEN THAT TASTY LITTLE PACKAGE UP AND SAVOR THEM ONE AT A TIME (YET IN QUICK SUCCESSION) THE MOMENT I HIT THE PARKING LOT. BITCH DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO WITH MY RASPBERRIES. I'LL EAT THAT PESTICIDE AND THOSE BUGS OR WHATEVER THE FUCK NASTYASS SHIT IS IN THERE THAT I SHOULDN'T BE EATING AND IT'LL MAKE ME STRONGER AND POSSIBLY TURN ME INTO A TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE OR SPIDERMAN. AND THEN I WILL GO TO YOUR CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS AND LODGE A SUPER-POWERED COMPLAINT ABOUT THE INSTRUCTIONS ON YOUR RASPBERRY PACKAGES.

Anyway. I like raspberries. I just ate a bowl of macaroni and cheese. I like that too. I also bought drumsticks ice cream cone things on saaaaaaaaaale, and the first season of Supernatural, but not from the same store and also I'm not planning on eating Supernatural, even though Dean looks yummy.